Past Sexual Abuse Can Presently Decrease Your Libido
A man should be the rock of the family, nothing and nobody should affect him. However, they are just simple human beings with feelings too. Even though men are not supposed to show feelings, many of them silently carry a lot of pain and suffer in their hearts. Past abuse may have happened long ago, but consequences still remain. Hidden scars that will probably never heal and scared soul of a child will never trust again completely.
Dealing with sexual abuse
Each and every person deals with his previous abuse in his own way; there is no determined way or advance schedule how to cope with such horror. One thing though is for sure; all victims by sexual abuse are profoundly affected and damaged for life.
Men are different than women and therefore, when such a problem occurs, they react very differently as well. In order to understand and being able to victims of previous sexual abuse or sexual assault many researchers have been made. Here is the list of how abused men lead their life after abuse in order to survive in everyday world and what kind of agony they are experiencing:
- Use of alcohol or other drugs.
- Suicidal thoughts and deviant behavior.
- Flashbacks and invasive thoughts.
- Nightmares and insomnia.
- Anger and trust issues
- Anxiety and fear
- Mood swings, easy irritation
- Mental health difficulties
- Difficult feelings of guilt, shame or humiliation
- Numbness and disconnection
- Sense of loss, grief
- Helplessness, isolation and alienation
- Low self–respect, constantly doubting himself, diminished self-belief.
- Difficulties with relationships, intimacy and sexuality.
- Problems related to masculinity and gender identity.
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The list is quite longer, there are only those problems included that have the biggest effect on men´s life. A lot of victim’s doesn´t even know how to be a man or due to his personal confusion, what a man in a society should be even doing. Many of them encounter basic integrity problem about human gender.
Reclaiming yourself after abuse:
Nevertheless, life continues and at some point one must take control over life in his own hands. Sexual abuse survivors need to find some way to cope with their past and emotions in order to proceed with their life. Some questions should be answered and a lot of counseling done to obtain some of the lost trust, needed for future relationships. Unresolved feelings towards past abuse should be properly addressed and resolved, to even begin feeling good about themselves.
Next step is intimacy. How to start having feelings for another person? Many questions arise.
It is hard for victims of past abuse to achieve positive sexual perspective and positive thinking future relationships. Many problems and deficiencies might be present through their life.
When having sexual intercourse, they might experience:
- Feeling rather confused during sexual intimacy.
- Feeling uncomfortable touching and being touched
- Hard to accept as sex being enjoyable.
- Low sex-drive or dismissive towards sex altogether.
- Shutting down emotionally.
- Having problems with achieving arousal or ejaculation.
- Not being able to trust sexual partner.
- Panic attacks, discomfort or flashbacks during sexual activity.
Proceeding with life normally is a great challenge for victims of sexual abuse or sexual assault, nevertheless it´s worth it and rewarding for every little victory they achieve.
Make Yourself Sick
Being a guy, your psychological traits can't accept too much sweetness in you. C'mon, you know it well, it's tough for you to be a pampering lover 24/7, to say only those sweet words to her every moment. But, it isn't even that tough to be a little sweeter than what actually you are.
Calling her at unexpected times, merely to say the three magical words, surprising her with your sudden visit to her workplace or home, leaving love notes everywhere in the house, and with few of these sweet efforts, you can win all her heart, and her love. Needless to say, the happier and loving she is, the happier you would be in the bedroom.
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