Sex feels great during the first few months of initiating intimacy. But as relationships grow more long-term, the longing and desire fizzle away. Eventually, it becomes just an act of fulfilling marital obligations. At this point, there is no spark or magic to it. But you don’t have to stay this way. There are ways to bring back the romance in your sex lives. Below are five easy ways to fix your mediocre sex life.
- Optimize eye contacts
The adage seeing is believing is not entirely misplaced. Sighting is particularly essential in the bedroom. For men, seeing a naked body is enough to create arousal.
Arousal also instigates the critical male hormone to start working. This function includes your ability to woo your partner with sexual overture and signals. And she may fall for your antics.
But getting into the bedroom requires another ballgame altogether. It requires careful planning and consideration.
Don’t just shut the door and bang, invade her privacy. Instead, allow your partner to savor the intimate time you spend together.
You may best initiate it through eye connection. Visual appreciation works to stoke her sexual urges. Besides, eye contact reinforces trust and bonging.
Eyes are so powerful that your heartbeat becomes synchronized when you lock your gaze for about five minutes.
Imagine how hot you get turned on to the extent that you could hear your partner’s heartbeat on your chest. Don’t underestimate how looks can turn lackluster sex into an explosive adventure.
CooperVision, Inc. suggests that extended eye contact is believed to trigger the release of phenylethylamine, a chemical associated with feelings of attraction. Additionally, it is thought to stimulate the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “love chemical,” which plays a key role in establishing long-term bonds and commitment.
- Settle down
Sex is always a challenge. You start from meeting a stranger then growing closer. But the process is not without hurdles.
To get comfortable with a person, you have to bear it all. This means that you have to act naturally. It involves revealing your aspirations and fears.
Sometimes though, the revelations can be challenging. Getting to talk about your daily grind is okay and easy. But having to open up about the things that make you cringe is hard.
Not only is the discussion awkward. You can’t tell how your partner is going to receive the strange news. Will she support you or look at you from another angle?
As a person, you constantly seek validation and acceptance. Your family already knows and values your character.
This trait also is vital in your love life. If your partner accepts your flaws, you become more confident with the relationship, which translates into more rewarding sex life.
- Maximize skin contact
Your skin is the largest organ, and there are many reasons for this. One of them is for sexual satisfaction.
You thus can’t have fulfilling sex without exploiting the excitement the skin contact elicits. That is why it’s so sensitive in the first place.
How do you turn a skin into a sex tool? You may wonder about this. After all, how can a body covering bring greater sexual desire?
If you have any doubt about your skin, then you are wrong. For skin contains all the nerve ending you require to rekindle your ordinary sex. Besides, it has to relax and warm up to allow for intimacy.
With these benefits your skin offers, all you can do is touch it. It will respond.
During sex, you can caress the skin with your hands as you commence on your foreplay or even when you are making love. Increasing skin contact during sex can heat things between the sheets.
- Foreplay
We live in a world of immediate reward. So it’s natural to seek instant coffee, instant news, and instant food.
The Internet has reduced our tolerance and attention span. Unfortunately, these lousy traits have followed us to the bedroom.
And what are the results? Well, poor sexuality and reduced excitement. The reason behind this disappointment is your urge to go straight to the goal. Yet, sex is not that straightforward.
You have to prepare your body and senses to transcend from regular activities to a sexual atmosphere.
For women, it takes time and is never rushed. Their sexual hormones can only ignite their desire if manipulated slowly.
This is where foreplay kicks in. You have to work out how to excite your partner’s mental, physical and emotional senses. Otherwise, your intimacy could just be another tedious chore for her.
Many erogenous zones are available for you to switch to heighten her libido. All you need is a little patience and imagination.
According to information provided by WebMD, foreplay serves both physical and emotional purposes by preparing the mind and body for sexual activity. For many women, engaging in activities such as kissing, hugging, and caressing is crucial in generating vaginal lubrication, which is important for comfortable intercourse. Furthermore, foreplay plays a significant role in stimulating the clitoris, which shares similar characteristics with the penis and is key to sexual pleasure.
- Change locations
Normal can be boring, and predictable sex fits this description. If you are always rushing to the bedroom to lay in the same bed, it can be dull.
Killing this boredom is easy. All you can do is change your sex location. But how do you do this?
The first move is to cause spontaneity. Try to seek sex in all unconventional areas. These could include the kitchen counter or along the hallway.
You can initiate sex anywhere. Ambushing your partner while working at the laundry heightens the thrill and anticipation
The couch can also be a surprisingly cool place to make love. The unfamiliar space and cramped size create an exotic feeling.
But even deliberate planning can also spice your regular sex. Planning a getaway from home to a secluded place provides you with the excitement and freedom you don’t get in your bedroom.
Changing sex locations is one way to enjoy and drive up your intimacy.
According to an article on Verywell Mind, exploring different locations in a sexual healthy relationship brings variety, prevents routine, and enhances intimacy through emotional associations. Unique sensory experiences in diverse environments heighten pleasure. Changing locations provides privacy, comfort, and safety, breaking routine and encouraging personal growth, trust, and improved communication.
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- Seek treatment
Issues such as painful sex could cause a lousy feeling. Besides, one partner could be selfish, just keen on pleasing themselves without considering the sexual needs of the other.
These two are just some of the scenarios that make partners avoid sex. Still, there are genuine reasons behind mediocre sex life.
Medical conditions and medication could prevent one or both partners to enjoy a fulfilling sex life. Chronic diseases such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and depression are some of these.
Besides, medicines issued to treat these conditions could also fix a spanner in your bedroom performance.
You can get your sex life back, albeit partially if you seek medical attention to resolve these triggers.
Seeing your physician may help you to treat or manage these situations. Explaining your predicament could unearth the root causes resulting in your sexual deficiency.
Doctors are trained to resolve such issues. But you must first seek this consultation to revamp your sex life.
- Roleplay
Acting a particular role before sex is exciting and relaxing. Instead of going for the usual foreplay and bang, try to spice foreplay with role-acting.
Role play is unique in that you may choose from any profession or even trade. You may plan which role to try out before performing it.
Or you may surprise your spouse by acting it out. The idea is to improve sexual communication while also encouraging the recipient partner to participate in it.
Suppose you chose to be a doctor, you could call your partner for “medical consultation and examination”. This role allows you to touch your partner sensually while pretending to be serious.
The excitement this game creates is huge and in no time, you’ll be both panting for more.
Don’t worry about this playful sexual approach. About 22% of people try role-playing during intimacy. According to a 2020 study published by Statistica Research.
