Sex is supposed to come naturally. But this is not true for everyone. Some women crave sex and desire steamy affairs between the sheets. Yet others tend to avoid sex. Why? There are several reasons for this. Mental and physical triggers may cause some women to resent sex. They would blank their minds when thinking about romance or engaging in sex. Keep reading to learn more about five reasons women avoid having sex.
- Erectile Dysfunction
Lack of sufficient arousal could result in poor sexual experience. When a woman is unable to enjoy sex, she may feel inadequate.
Further, a lady may arouse but can’t orgasm. In this situation, she may feel betrayed and unwanted. These factors could inevitably push her to withdraw from the act altogether.
According to Everyday Health, the relationship between women and erectile dysfunction (ED) can be complex. While many women are understanding, they may also experience feelings of disappointment, physical frustration, and emotional longing for intimacy. Women might blame themselves, feeling a sense of responsibility and guilt, worrying that they are somehow at fault or that their partner no longer finds them attractive. In some cases, women may even fear that ED is an indication that their partner is being unfaithful, which can lead to avoidance of sexual encounters with their partners.
Unfortunately, erectile dysfunction is not limited to your partner only. You could also harbor this inadequacy.
If you continue to disappoint during sex, your partner may avoid having sex with you.
Many factors could cause ED in either or both of you. One is watching too many hardcore sex scenes.
These plays make sex appear to occur naturally. In reality, however, it requires much determination and patience.
Hence when you start comparing yourself with a porn star, your act will fall flat.
Instead of wondering comparing yourself with actors you see onscreen, perhaps it could help if you take steps to address your ED.
- Poor image
Body flaws could have a significant influence on a woman’s sexuality. Socialites and models have not made it any easier. Still, the advertising industry tout pettiness as beauty.
Women who are overweight thus view their bodies negatively. This perception runs deep and makes them uncomfortable when undressing.
Not knowing what to do during intercourse could complicate matters during a date. For some women, it’s just a lack of experience.
Thus they fear that they may fall short in their performance – which precisely is what happens.
Lack of self-esteem is yet another reason why women avoid sex. They set unrealistic goals that are hard to achieve.
These aspirations could arise due to watching pornography or trying hard to impress their partners during lovemaking.
You could also be the cause of this low self-consciousness in your woman. When you emphasize her body flaws or compare her sexual performance to other lovers, you degrade her self-confidence.
- Painful sex
While a woman can overcome image issues, it’s hard to withstand painful sex. She’d rather stay celibate than endure pain during intercourse.
Sex that results in vaginal soreness is a leading reason for women to skip dates. Luckily, both of you can strive to resolve this problem.
By understanding what causes this discomfort, women can escape the agony.
The main triggers to sexual aches are lack of foreplay, inadequate arousal, rushed penetration, and insufficient lubrication.
To avoid discomfort during intercourse, try body stroking and other foreplay for about ten minutes before you penetrate your spouse.
Many women, especially those over fifty years, have difficulties lubricating. In such circumstances, you can use lubricants.
These gels help to moisten the vaginal lining, thus reducing friction during sex.
In an interview with Dr. Karyn Eilber published on the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center website, she highlights that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reports that up to 75% of women will encounter pain during sexual intercourse at some stage. While some women may only experience occasional or isolated instances of pain, others endure persistent discomfort. Consequently, some women may choose to abstain from sexual activity with their partners.
Whatever the reason, discuss how you can help your woman to avoid agony during sex. Otherwise, she will opt to skip sex whenever you propose.
- Stress
Women endure a lot of pressure. They are always busy.
Society demands that they give birth and care for children, navigate through limited finances, survive demanding careers and other family obligations.
Thus they don’t get plenty of time on their hands.
These issues can take a toll on their bodies. After a long day, mothers still prepare meals and tidy up their homes. So when they retire to sleep, they have no energy left to engage in sex.
As such, they gladly skip sex to rest and gain strength.
But skipping sex is not limited to married women. Even single ladies undergo the same routine.
For these, loneliness and anxiety are to blame. They are mostly alone and don’t have anyone to help them wade through everyday pressure and stress.
In an article featured on the Virginia Medical Center website, it is noted that for the majority of women, stress primarily impacts their mental state rather than their physical well-being. Dealing with a constantly active mind can make it difficult to engage in sexual thoughts and experience desires. When a woman is preoccupied or stressed before or during sexual activity, it becomes challenging to fully concentrate on arousal, pleasure, and achieving orgasm. In such cases, sex may be the least of her concerns or simply another task to be ticked off her never-ending to-do list.
On the other end, medications and unreasonable demands from spouses can also result in women feeling stressed. These factors could kill their libido, encouraging them to avoid sex.
- Disagreements and relationship crises
A solid reason for women to avoid sex is marital strain. Many factors cause conflicts in intimacies. They include lack of trust, poor communication, infidelity, and abusive relationships.
Poor communication can make relating with your wife hard, thus eroding emotional connection. But you can avoid this predicament by sharing quality time and chores.
Infidelity and abusive relations are hard to overcome, though. They are a result of alcoholism, peer pressure, and selfishness. So once these set in, they shutter trust.
But this doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it. You need to change entirely and seek a marriage counselor to get through the maze.
Yet you can’t do anything about the other factors triggering a lack of interest in sex. The effect of the use of birth control tablets, pregnancy, and hormonal imbalances are lousy.
Apart from the pills, which a woman can discontinue, the rest you only have to endure.
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- Vaginal distress
For a woman to become sexually aroused, many factors come into play. It goes beyond mental and physical attributes.
Besides, women’s sexual anatomy is more intricate than men’s. And so stimulation takes time even when all other enabling factors are in place.
Women by nature are more predisposed to contact STIs. Still, medical conditions and hormonal factors play a role in their reproductive health.
Diseases such as endometriosis, pelvic infection disease, and even fibroids can stymy their libido. PID causes a painful pelvis which could last for months.
They scar the fallopian tube, causing pain during intercourse and ovulation.
Similarly, cells of the endometrium grow outside the uterus and could be located behind the vagina. During penetration and thrusting, the penis may pull or stretch the affected tissues, causing pain.
Fibroid is another sickness affecting the cervix. And if they grow larger, these swellings may cause pressure that may be unbearable during sex.
All these situations are the reason why women avoid sex.
- Fatigue
Yet fatigue is another factor that forces women to avoid sex even when they are in the mood. Modern women suffer from extreme maternal and career pressure.
They have to run homes, tend to the kids, do shopping, and still report for work routinely. When they have overwhelming days, they may be too exhausted to think about sex.
Tired women have to decide between foregoing the sought-after rest or engaging in sex. Yet lack of sleep decreases sexual desire.
Unless a woman is well-rested and in good mood, her libido is at rock bottom. Thus tiredness switches her off temporarily.
A study found that sleeping for an hour improves a woman’s sexual desire by 14%. It also mentions that well-rested women reported better vaginal arousal than those women who slept less.
The finding called “Impact of Sleep on Female Sexual Response Behavior” is published in the Journal MedPub in 2015.
