Women are good at pretending. So don’t take her ooohs and aahs to mean that she is enjoying sex. Sometimes she may not enjoy your sexual performance. Still, she won’t face you and tell you. But to improve on this act, you need to know whether you are attaining her bedroom expectations. How then do you know that your actions between the sheets are below par? Well, here are five signs that your girl doesn’t like your sexual performance.
- She does not moan a lot
Unlike men, it is the nature of women to want to make noises during sex.
Making noises makes them feel good, and in the same way, they also hope to let you know that you are doing a good job by making them feel good.
So there is that about why women moan during love-making. And sadly, that is also why some women fake it even when a guy isn’t particularly good.
Margo Badzioch, a certified intimacy and wellness coach for Mindbody, explains in The Healthy Blog that moaning during sex is a natural physiological response to pleasure. However, she goes on to highlight the deeper significance of moaning as a form of communication between sexual partners. According to Badzioch, moaning is the body’s way of communicating to the partner that it is experiencing pleasure and desires more of the pleasurable sensations.
But some women are more honest and savage than others and if you find that your girl is quiet during sex, it could be a high indicator that she is trying to let you know that you are not making her feel good things.
You could ask her instead about how to make her feel good rather than suddenly trying so hard and making a lot of movements. Chances are you are already doing something wrong.
- She moans unrealistically a lot
Girls are complicated and sometimes they are not always straightforward.
It is always a good sign when your girl makes noises during love-making, but if she moans way too much, according to your gut feeling, chances are she is not actually enjoying what you are doing to her.
Girls are known to fake it when it comes to sex, but can you really blame them?
They just don’t want to hurt your feelings but at the same time don’t know how to communicate it to you–that you are not good enough in bed.
According to an article on Society19 addressing the topic of women faking moans, it explains that in situations where a woman is having sex with her boyfriend and he is not effectively satisfying her, and there isn’t an opportune moment to pause and communicate this, some women may choose to simulate pleasure by making fake moans. This act is often done with the intention of pleasing their partner and creating the illusion that they have reached orgasm.
So, if she moans way too much and you feel like she is probably faking it, that could be super awkward and you don’t know how to approach the subject diplomatically.
A good piece of advice is to actually open up about it and ask her straight about what she likes in bed and how you’d like to improve yourself.
- She makes excuses not to have sex very often with you
In relationships, especially those new ones, girls are not known to be very frank. At least most girls are like this.
In matters of bed, too, if she does not like your sexual performance, she may not be able to tell it straight to your face.
After all, it could be awkward and feelings and pride might get hurt. So, what does a normal girl do instead?
She avoids having sex with you as much as she can. And worse yet, even when she does do it with you, you feel like she is not that excited nor shows a good response.
Kelly Gonsalves, a multi-certified sex educator and relationship coach, discusses in an article on Mind Body Green that a woman’s interest in sex can decline, even in a happy marriage, if the sexual experiences fail to bring her sexual pleasure. Furthermore, if the couple’s sex life becomes monotonous and follows a predictable routine that doesn’t provide positive sensations for the woman, it can also contribute to her waning interest. Gonsalves suggests that a lack of skills or techniques to fulfill the woman’s needs might be a contributing factor in such situations.
You can’t blame it all on her if you’re the one who is lacking skills in the first place.
It may be a good idea to try to talk about exploring new things together so you both can grow in terms of bedroom skills.
- She talks about how sexy a hot celebrity looks like
Since matters regarding dissatisfaction in the bedroom is a sensitive topic, many girls tend to be very convoluted in the way that they try to address it.
Instead of telling you straight what you are doing not good enough, they try to divert your focus towards some really sexy celebrity that *may* seen to be really good in bed.
They talk about how that particular celebrity exudes a big-dick-energy and that they are ‘probably really skilled’ in bed.
This may annoy you to no end because you feel that your man pride has been slighted. But then, you need to understand who is causing the distress here in the first place.
So, instead of lashing out like a kid with a tantrum, you should carefully approach the matter with a sense of humour.
Ask her if she would like to try something new in bed with you instead of that celebrity.
- She hints that you may want to change your diet for health reasons
Some girls who are very knowledgeable about health and how diet affects your sexual performance may hint at a diet change for you.
This may sound funny but some people do try to talk about this kind of matter in this manner, mostly because they are polite people and they are considering your ego and pride.
In reality, diet does affect a man’s sexual performance, from your T hormone levels to the hardness of your erection.
So, if you find your girl very suddenly asking if you would like to try out new stuff to eat for ‘health’ reasons, this MAY be an indication that she hopes you would do better in bed in due time.
Don’t get offended and appreciate this kind gesture instead. After all, what could be bad about becoming healthier in general, right?
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- She avoids sex altogether
Whenever you feel pressured, you are unlikely to engage in sex. So expect the same from your lady if she’s under any form of pressure.
You can tell that she’s trying to juggle many things, or is irritated so that when she retires to bed, she’s in no mood.
But when she appears relaxed and happy but suddenly changes her mood each time you try to initiate sex, then there is something wrong.
Maybe you are not fiddling her right. If you leave her unsatisfied constantly and have tried to guide you, she’ll simply give up.
Probably, you aren’t bad in bed per se, but your sex style may have become monotonous. So she has become bored and just wants a break.
Try to find out what the matter is. Touching her differently could ping her interest. Get close and initiate sweet talk as you cuddle to find out the reasons behind her recent sex aversion.
- Stopped looking forward to orgasm
Women are all different. While most don’t care about reaching orgasm, some may be keen to ejaculate.
Still, all women engage in sex for different purposes. Most women seek affection and connection when making love.
The ones that attach much importance to orgasm will push you in all styles and stimulation so that you take them over the edge. They contend when they attain this climax.
So if your partner previous had this zeal but suddenly isn’t committed to it as before, she’s certainly missing something.
She may have noted your sexual inadequacy and so have given up on motivating you to help her orgasm. Hence, she’ll try to quicken the process so that you finish and leave her.
In this case, she will be a passive participant, only offering herself for your satisfaction without seeking hers. And if you notice this change in tactic, then know that she isn’t thrilled by your sexual performance.
