Married Sex life is entirely different from single-sex life. Everyone faces some challenges in their married life that can ultimately lead to a sexless life. We have five tips that can help you out with sexless marriage.
- Talk about your feelings/fears with your partner
Human beings are complex; no matter how much you think you are a chill person with simple desires, all people have worries and fears.
This includes fears and worries about your sexuality as you age and if you find that these are disrupting how you feel about having sex with your long-term partner, this needs to be communicated.
You must believe that your long-term partner loves you and will listen to you.
But you also need to be charming and tactful in the way you communicate your feelings so that your partner can easily understand your points of view.
Talking intimately about our fears and worries can over time bring us closer emotionally to our partner, and this often can be a starting point to try something new.
According to the “15 Ways to Deal With Being a Woman in a Sexless Marriage” article, communication is vital.
Talking about sex can enliven your romance and create sexual satisfaction. All you have to do is to air your sexual needs as per this article in the Marriage publication.
Maybe you need to try a new routine, or maybe, you need to go on dates again. It all begins with open communication.
- Learn how to have open communication with the love of your life
As mentioned before, couples must learn to have open communication that can bring healthy discussions.
As two people living together for such a long time, there are certainly many things that you are experiencing together.
As you grow old together some things may become such a normal part of your daily routine that they have lost their attractiveness.
One such thing may even include your sex life. For a lot of long-term couples, sex could have turned into such a routine that you have lost your passion for it.
If this is the case with you, you need to learn to communicate this to your partner.
But the point is not to make your partner feel bad or undesirable; rather, communication is meant to find a solution or try something new to rekindle the spark between you.
- Work as a team in learning to eat clean and healthily together
Being in a long-term relationship also means you are growing old together.
It is normal to watch one another start to become afflicted with more ailments, and with that, you could be experiencing hormone imbalances or other illnesses that can wreak havoc in your sex life.
With that said, as two people who are deeply committed to a loving relationship, you both need to work as a team in learning to eat more cleanly to achieve better health together.
Working together helps you to appreciate each other likes and dislikes. Team building also allows one partner to support the other when traumatic events such as hormonal issues and health complications take a toll on your eating habits.
This is as per the ChoosingTherapy website’s article, “Sexless Marriage: 8 Causes & Tips to Deal with it.”
Many sources of knowledge can help you get a better understanding of how to eat clean and why it is important, especially for modern humans.
Eating better generally will make your health better and sex drive often suffers from ill-health. To maintain a healthy sex life, you both need to begin from your plate and what you put on it.
- Communicate your fantasies and try something new together
You may have a well of sexual fantasies that have not been manifested in the real world.
If you are in a long-term and committed relationship, why not try to communicate your fantasies to your spouse?
Maybe the reason your sex life has been under the dry spell is that you both are bored with routine. So, it may be just the right time to explore new aspects of your sensuality and sexuality.
Exploring your wild fantasies together can also make you emotionally closer to one another as you will be learning new aspects of your partner.
Don’t be surprised to see different sides to them that you have never known before people grow and change, anyway.
So, learn to have an open mind and accept that you may not have known your partner all that well.
You may be pleasantly surprised to know there are certain fantasies you both want to explore.
- Get professional help to overcome sexual dysfunctions
As people grow older, it is common that ailments start to meddle with sexual functions.
If the two of you have been married for a long time and now sex isn’t as exciting anymore, you may want to get professional help in overcoming some sexual dysfunctions that may be present.
Sexual dysfunction can also include something as mild as low sex drive, but if this continues for a long time, eventually you may fall under the category of suffering from sexual frustrations.
Get professional help if there are any persistent sexual dysfunction that you can’t solve just between yourselves.
The Centre publication titled “Rekindle Sexual Intimacy” mentions that external intervention is what some couples may need to reinvigorate their passion.
But this step works well only when you find a therapist who’s properly trained and experienced to handle issues specific to your unique situation.
Doctors and urologists can help men with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, meanwhile, sex counselors will be able to help with relationship issues you may be having.
Make sure you both work as a team when trying to overcome any issues in your marriage.
Bonus Tips Submitted By Viewers
- Pick the right moment to speak
Many reasons could cause a decline in sexual activity in couples. It starts as a break due to illness but then you stop initiating intimacy even after you heal.
Maybe your partner could have some reservations about discussing her concerns. As such, each of you would wait for the other to initiate this topic.
Even as you bid your time, other issues may crop up. Stress, financial pressure, poor body image, and child care, could take an additional toll. Eventually, you forget about the sex life which you had placed on the back burner.
So you let your romance drift, and the longer it lasts, the more difficult it is to initiate the discussion. But every time you begin this talk, something urgent suddenly interrupts the conversation prematurely.
After a few attempts, you revert to your status quo. Yet you shouldn’t give this important issue a free pass.
The best way to start and complete this conversation is to set free time. Picking the right moment when all of you are relaxed lets you exhaust all the reasons and even allow your feelings to rekindle around intimacy.
- Be patient
Do your best to listen and follow what your partner has to say about what issues lead to sex avoidance keenly. She may have genuine personal reasons.
But whatever the reasons, don’t take the matter personally. Concentrate on the facts and take time to synthesize the information wholly.
You must remain calm and patient even when your partner is bitter and is accusing you of the current predicament. Don’t let emotions overrun you.
This means that you shouldn’t interrupt her speech, or try to put words in her mouth. These actions would only let her recoil into a defensive position.
Lastly, put yourself in her position and then take the leadership role that any man should assume under the circumstance. Before you start speaking, evaluate the possible repercussion of your words.
Is missing sex a deal breaker here? Would you give her time to heal and keep steering her into your emotional fold? Is this a case of miscommunication?
Make all effort to initiate intimacy and give her time, without instilling deadlines. Maybe she’ll be back with a bang.
