Past sexual abuse is never too easy to forget. It always leaves effects even if it had happened ages ago. But can it affect a person’s sexual health or libido?
A man should be the rock of the family, nothing and nobody should affect him. However, they are just simple human beings with feelings too.
Even though men are not supposed to show feelings, many of them silently carry a lot of pain and suffer in their hearts. Past abuse may have happened long ago, but consequences still remain.
Hidden scars that will probably never heal and scared soul of a child will never trust again completely.
Dealing with sexual abuse
Each and every person deals with his previous abuse in his own way; there is no determined way or advance schedule how to cope with such horror.
One thing though is for sure; all victims by sexual abuse are profoundly affected and damaged for life.
Men are different than women and therefore when such a problem occurs, they react very differently as well.
In order to understand and be able to understand victims of previous sexual abuse or sexual assault, many researchers have been made.
Here is the list of how abused men lead their life after abuse in order to survive in the everyday world and what kind of agony they are experiencing:
- Use of alcohol or other drugs.
- Suicidal thoughts and deviant behavior.
- Flashbacks and invasive thoughts.
- Nightmares and insomnia.
- Anger and trust issues
- Anxiety and fear
- Depression
- Mood swings, easy irritation
- Mental health difficulties
- Self-blame
- Difficult feelings of guilt, shame or humiliation
- Numbness and disconnection
- The sense of loss, grief
- Helplessness, isolation, and alienation
- Low self–respect, constantly doubting himself, diminished self-belief.
- Difficulties with relationships, intimacy, and sexuality.
- Problems related to masculinity and gender identity.
The list is quite long, there are only those problems included that have the biggest effect on men´s lives.
A lot of victims doesn´t even know how to be a man or due to his personal confusion, what a man in a society should be even doing.
Many of them encounter basic integrity problem about human gender.
Reclaiming yourself after abuse:
Nevertheless, life continues and at some point, one must take control over life in his own hands.
Sexual abuse survivors need to find some way to cope with their past and emotions in order to proceed with their life.
Some questions should be answered and a lot of counseling done to obtain some of the lost trust, needed for future relationships.
Unresolved feelings towards past abuse should be properly addressed and resolved, to even begin feeling good about themselves.
Next step is intimacy. How to start having feelings for another person? Many questions arise.
It is hard for victims of past abuse to achieve positive sexual perspective and positive thinking future relationships. Many problems and deficiencies might be present in their life.
When having sexual intercourse, they might experience:
- Feeling rather confused during sexual intimacy.
- Feeling uncomfortable touching and being touched
- Hard to accept as sex being enjoyable.
- Low sex-drive or dismissive towards sex altogether.
- Shutting down emotionally.
- Having problems with achieving arousal or ejaculation.
- Not being able to trust a sexual partner.
- Panic attacks, discomfort or flashbacks during sexual activity.
Proceeding with life normally is a great challenge for victims of sexual abuse or sexual assault, nevertheless, it´s worth it and rewarding for every little victory they achieve.
In conclusion, we discussed how past sexual abuse or trauma could be one reason behind low libido. For this purpose, we listed some practical tips to help sexual abuse victims improve their libido and mental health.
