Do You Check Email Immediately After Sex? – Introduction
In this world of constant connectivity, smartphones have become part of the body and part of self. For most of us, catching up on emails and social media is an everyday occurrence. Then there’s the question: is it appropriate, or healthy, to check email immediately after having sex with your significant other? In this page, I take a closer look at some of the psychological, interpersonal and cultural forces that drive this behaviour.
Do You Check Email Immediately After Sex?
As technology dissolved, piece by piece, the boundary between the private and the business, and most of the contemporary romantic experience was conducted in the blinding light of the device. Perhaps the most sensitive and contact-dependent period, sexual contact might be disrupted by the click of an email. Such disconnection can be a sign of work over intimacy, or worse, a signal that what’s happening online is more important than what’s happening with a partner.
The Psychology Behind the Need for Instant Connectivity
Why are people reaching for their phones after an affair? The answer largely comes from psychological mechanisms of attachment, fear and FOMO. As research has shown, we are in an age where the drive to stay connected can be addictive. In the most intimate of situations, the dopamine burst of clicking “refresh” in our inbox or scrolling through social media gives us a false sense of relief and control.
Some might do this as a way to cope with anxiety or to try to be in control of their surroundings. Emails make it seem like we are in control of our lives when in reality we are abandoning one of our most important relationships – our partner.
Relationship Dynamics: Communication and Boundaries
The very act of checking emails after having sex is an insult that transcends the act. Communication is critical to any good relationship, and paying that attention to technology-even when we’re not expecting it-is to blithely pretend that emotional exchange doesn’t matter. This type of behavior will almost certainly result in feelings of abandonment or disenchantment, particularly if one partner views the other as preferring the digital world to the physical space that they were intended to enjoy together.
Lovers can, too, be very different from each other in a relationship. For some couples, a glimpse into phones may be casual and natural to a couple, but for others, it signals intrusion and distraction. It lies in recognizing and defining whether or not to use technology within close quarters.
Transparent discussions about the relationship’s place in technology can set more defined boundaries. Partner-to-partner interactions should focus on their opinions about the use of devices after the intimacy and on why they feel valued and important. This type of open communication builds deeper relationships, and can avoid the confusion and squabbles that ensue when one partner is left behind or feels not valued.
The Societal Shift in Intimacy and Technology
We have a cultural transition in terms of what intimacy is, how it’s fostered, how it’s sustained through technology. This squander of the moment is frequently contrasted with the mental imprint of our screens. Some would say that technology deprives such a sacred and special moment of the most precious kind of attention; others think that technology ties people together by sharing in life’s moments and keeping each other informed about the other’s.
Finding Balance: Mindfulness in Relationships
When confronted with the pitfalls of technology’s manipulation of intimacy, mindfulness practices can serve as an indispensable foil. To be present in sex not only increases intimacy, but also enhances relationship satisfaction. Couples can gain back a deeper sense of connection and create a place for love and communication by choosing to be attentive to each other.
Setting Technology Use Limits
Perhaps one of the best ways to develop mindfulness in your relationship is to define boundaries around technology. The most helpful is to have the couple agree on when to put their devices away-dinners, dates, and/or other private nights at home. And thus a non-technical zone or time could be developed, which would lead to a highly interactive atmosphere.
Couples can, for example, commit to having their phones switched off while they are eating dinner so that they can really talk without the distraction of text and social-media notifications. This sort of behavior increases the chances that a relationship will foster a space where both partners can be exposed and vulnerable. This is one of the primary elements of emotional intimacy. Putting the emphasis on contact with one another allows lovers to feel and experience each other far more intimately; couples are paying attention to their partner’s faces, emotions and words-in ways that are too often missed out in a text message.
Mindfulness exercises integrated into
Beyond technology boundaries, there are simple mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your life to be more relationally sensitive. Deep breathing, gratitude, and meditation can bring a couple into the moment, and allow them to be in each other’s company.
For instance, spending two minutes each day deepening their breathing together brings the partners onto the same level of thinking and creates a common calm. That’s because a couple can focus on the rhythm of breathing and let all other noises fall away as they connect. Also, sharing thank-you statements can promote positive feelings and bring intimacy into the couple’s relationship in order to remind them of how important they are to each other’s lives. Such simple yet powerful practices can have a significant impact on the levels of presence and community and on relationships.
As digital citizens, we should ask ourselves what our habits mean to our relationships. Post-sex emailing may be frivolous, but it can be indicative of larger issues of focus, connection and priorities in relationships. To reconcile technology and personhood, it takes self-reflection and communication, but the payoff – greater relationships, deeper connections – is more than worth it.
Conclusion: Do You Check Email Immediately After Sex?
Finally, closeness can only thrive if partners commit to being present for each other without the distraction of the internet. Sometimes, taking a second to appreciate your partner after you’ve had sex, perhaps during a conversation or laugh, is the magic pill that will stop you falling prey to tech. The best relationships happen not via gadgets, but in the actual presence of each other.
