Ejaculation is a touchy issue in the sex act. While men ejaculate faster than women, this finishing first may bring some resentment. Men usually blame themselves for putting the trigger prematurely. What they don’t know is that men on average have less time during penetrative sex, before they explode. But how long is not long enough? And what’s the ideal duration you should take before you climax? Here’s how long a man should last before ejaculation.
Lovemaking is a very complicated process. It’s also as unique as every person in the world.
Thus answering this question would make many assumptions. You see, not everyone likes sex as much as the next person may think.
So, the idea that being able to last very long in bed may not necessarily appeal to just about everybody.
It may surprise you, but some people are quite ‘lazy’ in bed. For such a person, 5 to 10 minutes of sex may be enough.
While for others, 5 to 10 minutes would freak them out, thinking they have got premature ejaculation!
In reality, premature ejaculation is not even as common as many people fear it to be. A journal published in the International Journal of Reproductive BioMedicine in 2021 stated that premature ejaculation affects around 20 to 30% of males who are sexually active. Most of the time, this issue can be fixed with cognitive behavioural therapy.
Then again, people also have variations in the way they think about how long ‘sex’ should be because some people consider the whole foreplay and flirting thing as part of sex.
So, the answers to this question can be endless.
The first is that the time under consideration is only after penetration has occurred.
Now, most people will just consider this thinking so that they will not be surprised by ‘many hours’ as the general expectations.
Thus all the foreplays, pecking, and kissing does not count here. Many people consider those initial efforts as ‘pre-sex’ and not ‘sex’ itself per se.
Come to think of it, this part of the sex even goes by a different name: foreplay. It is just play, not the actual sex yet.
Next, we also assume that this does not involve a hand job or blow job. Thus, your partner’s effort to please you with hands, tongue, and mouth also doesn’t count here.
But the thing is, if you count the time you spend doing all of these things and remaining hard as a rock, you could really think that you have the ability to remain erect for a long time.
That should be good thinking, but most men are just worried about how long they last in the main act before they finally ejaculate.
So, we are left with just the time needed for a man to be able to carry on penetrative sex before he gets to ejaculate and experience orgasm all on his own.
A survey of married couples in Japan, published by the Reproductive Medicine and Biology, saw that when sexual intercourse is disrupted unexpectedly, sexual satisfaction can really be affected. It is more important that the females feel that their pleasure time is not interrupted by a man’s sudden ejaculation that is yet to be wanted.
This becomes the parameter for most men to consider how long they ‘last’ during sex; but yeah, only penetrative sex. But this parameter is actually not very practical.
Now suppose that you are ready to penetrate, how logical is it to punch on the stopwatch to commence counting.
When you are just about to come or in the initial splash, can you abruptly stop your ejaculation and then quickly extend your hands to stop the time?
Or will you wait until the last ejaculation before rolling over and reaching for the clock?
Before you even begin to imagine if you would be able to do that, you need to ditch the thought altogether from the get-go. The reason why?
Just because you will not be able to last long at all if you keep thinking about the clock. Sex is something you must enjoy in a relaxed way if you want to be able to last long.
The more you think about the minutes, the less you are able to deliver a good job.
The Primary Care Companion for CNS Disorders published a paper regarding the connection between anxiety and premature ejaculation. Not only has the study found that anxiety lowers a man’s performance in bed, but marital issues that are lifelong are also seen as a key player in causing premature ejaculation in men.
Stress about your performance can only disturb your potential and cut short your sex time instead. So why bother counting the time in the first place?
It seems like performing this task is nearly impossible. And if you attempt it, then you may not even register the duration accurately.
However strange this scenario appears, this is the approach taken by a study of over 500 couples engaged in timing their penetrative sex act.
Although the process is not precise, it’s a good starting point. And as expected, the results brought a wide variation.
The shortest reported time was 33 seconds, while the most extended duration recorded is 44 minutes.
Of course, we need to take into account that some of the men who were studied could have suffered from premature ejaculation to have scored less than a minute.
We don’t even yet consider that perhaps some of the men studied were nervous about the study so it could also have impaired the length of their performance.
For your information, premature ejaculation is only recorded when a man ejaculates within less than 2 minutes after penetration happens.
So anything longer than that, no matter how short the timing may feel to you, is NOT premature ejaculation.
But in a statistical study, the mean is always an indicator. This indicates the average time the highest proportion of the couples last in bed. The study established a mean duration of 5.4 minutes.
The couples who spend the shortest and longest time are outliers. Thus it indicates that most men took five to six minutes to ejaculate after penetrating.
Does this look short to you because you think a lot of men out there have boasted they can last hours in bed?
Like already mentioned, those are outliers and in reality, some men may have just exaggerated how long they actually can stand penile friction.
But although most men can only last some 5 to 6 minutes of penetrative sex, it is not like we don’t actually have a problem with this.
Ironically, another study points out that women need between fifteen to twenty minutes to orgasm. So, why the discrepancy?
Since sex is about procreation, a female’s orgasmic shudder acts to aid sperm already swimming to the egg. Hence, she must come after the man has ejaculated to fulfill this role.
This finding, explains why most couples are not able to come together.
People have this exaggerated fantasy of being able to come at the same time as their partner, but in reality, this is very difficult to do.
The key here is that the man needs to study how he can delay his ejaculation so that he can come closer to his partner’s timing for orgasm.
This may require some training but if a man is dedicated enough it is possible to extend the time he can have penetrative sex.
For instance, if you improve your physical strength and fitness, you may be able to control your ejaculation timing better.
Also, there are practices like yoga, deep breathing and tantric exercises that are supposed to enhance a man’s duration to last in bed.
Conclusion
Thanks for reading “How Long Should A Man Last Before Ejaculation?”
Basically, most men need about eight minutes to orgasm. But the range varies widely amongst different men.
This duration could also fluctuate for the same man, sometimes lasting shorter than other occasions. Many factors contribute to the variations.
Diet, age, and even how long you have abstained from sex can make a difference.
But medical conditions and medication also affect how quickly someone ejaculates. Performance anxiety and prostate complications may result in a faster release of seminal fluids.