How to Have Sex When You Have Young Kids – Introduction
Parenting is a wonderful and life-changing experience, but also one that makes major changes to your life, including your sexual life. For most couples with young children, time and space for intimacy is a non-negotiable commodity. But your sexual relationship is the key to an effective partnership. How to handle intimacy when you have small children in the home.
1. Communicate Openly
Being honest and upfront is the foundation of every great relationship. Parents need to find time and sit down to talk about needs and expectations. Periods reserved solely for occasional check-ins are a great way for the partners to talk about how they feel in terms of sex and what problems each is experiencing as a parent. This practice not only allows one to be transparent, it’s also a place to voice one’s fears and work through them.
Talking about sexuality, of course, can be stressful and overwhelming after a day with the kids. It is important to keep in mind that vulnerabilities are not flaws but a path to intimacy. By giving your emotions a space to feel seen and heard, you’ll strengthen your relationship with them.
2. Schedule ‘Date Nights’ at Home
It should not be overwhelming to find a babysitter or allocate a night out. You could simply recreate the atmosphere that you would experience at your house. You could have occasional ‘date nights’, where one partner was able to let loose and spend uninterrupted time with the other.
Consider how to begin: candles, relaxing music and preparing a favourite meal can start you off. Whether it’s putting the kids to bed early or having a sleepless night after the children go to bed, these hours are your chance to reconnect with each other. There’s always something to be excited about when the family has so much going on, and that excitement gets redirected into the relationship.
3. Utilize Nap Times Effectively
When working parents have toddlers, naps can be gems of an opportunity to bond with one another. Those sluggish moments of the baby’s bedtime are just waiting to be used for a minute or two with your spouse. Whether it’s a brief love session or simply a cup of coffee and a chat, it’s held their connection alive.
Yet in the meantime, you can’t get carried away with it. The longer you’re aware of the time, the less likely you are to wake the kids up early. This way you can savor the bulk of these tidbits without adversity. These spontaneous bonding moments amid disorder are often the exact thing that brings a lot of coherence and order into your life.
4. Get Creative with Schedules
Since spontaneity is nearly a rare treat for a state few seem capable of attaining, that doesn’t mean a couple should cease spending time together. Play it by ear: there are weekday nooks and crannies where the kids could be doing something- whether that’s extracurricular, playdates or hiring a babysitter.
Those moments, brief as they may be, provide a foundation on which one might contact the other. For instance, meet up for lunch or take spontaneous coffee breaks. The tiniest gestures-a late-night kiss, some time huddling on the sofa together while watching a movie, leaving love notes in the most unlikely of places-do help restore emotional attachment. Even in the context of a comparatively busy family schedule, you can make long lasting memories just by being intentional and intentional about the time you do spend together.
5. Foster Emotional Intimacy
Sex is not the only element of a networked relationship. Put time into emotional closeness, it will make all the difference in your sex life. Communicate, write about your day, and really have deep conversations. If we’re emotional, we’re more inclined to crave physical intimacy.
6. Be Mindful of Your Environment
If you’ve got children running around, you need to be discreet. Think of the where and when of intimacy. If your main bedroom is not available, consider any space where you can take a private break — guest room, bathroom, car (when appropriate). Be quiet at all times to avoid unwanted distractions.
7. Embrace Spontaneity
Scheduling is important, but spontaneity can add life to your sex life. Explore when it’s on the way, such as after the kids are at school or gone to a friend’s house. The exhilaration of breaking up in an unexpected situation can reinvigorate your love and keep the relationship fresh.
8. Involve the Kids in Your Relationship
Let your kids know that your connection is meaningful. Give them time to play alone or do something that gives you and your partner time for yourself. Make it clear to your children that love can take many forms, and that the importance of a relationship is very strong.
9. Accept the Changes
And lastly, come to terms with the fact that your sex life might not be the same as it was pre-kids. The stakes are raised, but that doesn’t mean we have to give up intimacy forever. Keep your expectations open and understand that parenthood is a process. Do your best to appreciate the time you do have, no matter how brief.
Conclusion: How to Have Sex When You Have Young Kids
The arrival of young children certainly adds a new dimension to your formerly fun-loving sex life, but it doesn’t have to be the end. By speaking up, making time to connect in a specific way, being creative and engaging your children within limits, you can maintain the spark in your relationship. Never forget that a good relationship builds the building block for a healthy family and provides your children with an example of a healthy relationship.
