Stop Playing Games When You’re Sexing: Your Spouse Will Probably Know – Intro.
Having a culture where sexual fulfilment is seen as the ultimate end of a relationship is not new for people feeling driven to succeed in satisfying their partner. This performance-minded mentality can sometimes be found in people pretending to feel good or gasp in sexual situations. Although this behavior might seem innocuous, studies suggest that being true in the sex room is essential for having a satisfying relationship with one’s partner. The paper will discuss why tampering while having sex is not only a mistake but a waste of energy, and what can be done to encourage genuine, open communication to enhance sexual satisfaction.
The Prevalence of Faking It:
For example, Chapman University found that 68 per cent of women and 25 per cent of men had previously tried to pretend to have experienced an orgasm in sex. These are huge numbers, but they also signal an underlying issue with our culture of open communication about sexual needs, desires and satisfaction. Faking sex is the route to intimacy and the block between two people.
Reasons Why It’s Harmful To Fake It:
1. Reinforces Misconceptions
To make yourself orgasmic will increase fantasy based on sexual performances. If one partner is pretending to be enjoying, that is the beginning of a signal that could only lead to high standards of what sexual interactions of this type should and should not be. It refuels two people’s low self-worth cycle. The impostor might feel compelled to perpetuate this fantasy, and his/her partner might start to believe that his sexual performance is good enough for any woman on the planet. Over time, this ‘game’ of performance is replaced by ‘more is better’ and the dynamics become so strained that only two partners are able to have sex for enjoyment and closeness. Releasing illusions about what makes good sex, couples keep plowing ahead on a path that will send them on an inexplicable, bumpy ride, one of unfulfilled desires and ideals that are nothing more than fakes.
2. Bars Open Communication
Like it is said that the bedrock of any healthy relationship is good communication, and sexual relationships are no exception. Taking pleasure in the false sense, they close one of the most valuable windows for a direct discussion of tastes and satisfactions. It may be for this reason that no one tries to say what they want and give feedback: fake-pissed feeling can keep a sexual relationship in the dead zone, with neither partner knowing nor feeling valued. Communication of needs and preferences establishes trust and emotional attachment. Because lovers can tell one another openly what they’re comfortable with, it makes for better sex, and emotionally safe space to allow sex to unfold. If a person pretends to take pleasure, then they have deprived themselves and their partner of this feedback loop.
3. Diminishes Overall Satisfaction
In the long run, such faking is disastrous to both partners’ happiness. Here, one partner who always puts his/her partner’s wellbeing ahead of their own usually finds it enervating and lonely to belong anywhere at all to himself/herself. And that is easily the harbinger of discontent, anger and frustration. The person who consistently tells their partner that they’re satisfied can over time renounce the sexual pleasure for themselves and, in doing so, even compromise their own health and the relationship’s. Long-term intimacy can’t be made with truth sacrificed in the service of illusion. The basis for any meaningful access to a higher plane needs to be from authentic pleasure. Authentication will generate only superficial attention and neither spouse will be satisfied.
Promoting Authenticity During Intimate Moments:
For a real-feel good sexual relationship that won’t leave you in a vice, follow these steps:
1. Practice Open Communication
Talking underpins every good relationship and bedroom talk is no exception. Honest communication of sexual needs and desires can be the secret of closer love relationships. Tell everyone what they want, what they don’t like, what they are worried about, no questions asked. When the conversation is private, both partners can try something new, put fears to rest and feel good about themselves. Remember that when you are talking about sexual complexity, emotional and physical bonding can ensue.
2. Temper Expectations
Most detrimental of all sexual habits is the idea that everything must end with an orgasm. This state of mind can result in performance anxiety and sabotage intimate pleasure. Understand that not all sex is going to result in a climax, and that’s OK. With the slack off the unrealistic, both partners can see this time as it is, a time for fun and bonding. It’s only by focusing on the experience of mutual pleasure, rather than a clear purpose, that the sexual experience can be an emancipatory and enjoyable one.
3. Cultivate Emotional Intimacy
The power of emotional closeness cannot be overemphasized in the context of sex. Establishing a healthy emotional connection is the precursor to sexual happiness. Out of the bedroom spend some quality time with each other — see things together, have conversations, just spend time together. The more you can do that is trusting and vulnerable, the more emotionally invested you will be in the sexual relationship. The more enmeshment couples have, the more natural and rewarding their body can be.
4. Develop Mindfulness Techniques
Mindfulness can be a powerful habit to help sexual life by being present and present. Partners can become tuned into their bodies and feel the pleasure while it happens if they practise mindfulness exercises (eg, meditating, deep breathing or even yoga). This greater self-consciousness enables people to experience the feelings that are happening and to bond more easily with their partner. Because couples are not distracted, they are able to discover and share their desires without the need to take breaks, which results in deeper, more meaningful encounters.
5. Embrace Self-Acceptance
Self-love lies at the foundation of authenticity. Letting one’s body, one’s needs, one’s weaknesses shine through in a relationship. Once people learn to be OK with themselves, they can openly speak with their partners and prioritise their own pleasure. That change can halt the game of shilling and encourage a more authentic pursuit of satisfaction. What’s more, self-accepting partners are often more likely to be supportive and understanding towards each other and facilitate intimacy – emotionally and physically.
Conclusion: Don’t Be So Secretive About It When You’re Sexing: Your Ex Will Probably Say So!
Smashing is a bad thing in the world because it breeds false perceptions, it reduces effective communication, and it decreases happiness. If we encourage authenticity, communication and emotional closeness, couples can end the game of pretending and find themselves becoming closer and more sexually fulfilled. With self-acceptance, expectations management and mindfulness, people can develop emotionally stronger relationships with themselves and experience a healthier, more authentic sexual relationship.
